


What is Beautiful

by citizen-of-the-multiverse (threenimonsongallifrey)



Category: Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 17:23:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20800166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threenimonsongallifrey/pseuds/citizen-of-the-multiverse
Summary: Narvin and Leela spend a moment alone on a different Gallifrey and discovered perhaps they aren't as insufferable as they previously thought.





	What is Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> I know I haven't been active in forever but I found this searching through my old fanfic folder so I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Set between 4.2 and 4.3

Simply put, Narvin was not pleased. He had served the CIA well for many years as Coordinator, deputy Coordinator, project manager, and a lowly technician. But not, as he had previously stressed to Romana, a field agent. People had a habit of making unfounded assumptions about the CIA— they were all dangerous renegades, or traitors, or grand manipulators, but no. Those traits seemed to describe Gallifrey’s recent Presidents (no offense to Narvin’s present company on the Axis) rather than the CIA. But perhaps the most pervasive rumor was that everyone in the CIA was a field agent and as Coordinator, Narvin would logically be a competent agent.

This was unequivocally wrong. For one— field agents remained a small part of the CIA’s personnel, there were far more technicians and scientists and bureaucrats on payroll than agents. Two— Narvin had many skills but working as a field agent was not one. Sure, he had completed basic training, he had even gone on a mission or two long ago in his youth. But Narvin’s supervisor kindly redirected him to a job as a technician. Yes, he was a spy, but it was all done through the safety of a computer terminal.

Narvin had always blamed his failure as an agent on weak knees, but he knew as well as anyone that is a poor excuse. Narvin was scared. He was scared of being captured by aliens, of being tortured, of dying, of letting down Gallifrey. And yet here he was: going on a wild goose chase across the multiverse with the two of the most utterly fearless and utterly idiotic people he had ever met while his Gallifrey died. Sitting with Leela on this foreign version of a world he knows so well, two lives between them, it was like something out of Narvin’s nightmares. It would take two shots for them both to be dead, no second chances, no second life. It was utterly terrifying. How did humans live like this? Every step, every breath was risking life and death and draining away their precious time. But Narvin had observed Leela for longer than he would have liked and her feeble mortality never seemed to be a burden. Leela put her life on the line for Gallifrey, well for Romana mostly, more times than Narvin could count and she had never seemed worried, never complained. Leela was either the most stupid or most brave person Narvin had ever met. And he had learned time and time again over the past year that Leela was not as stupid as her appearance led him to believe.

There didn’t seem to be any intelligent life on this Gallifrey which meant Narvin was stuck with Leela for the day until the portal returned to their location. It was infuriating the way Leela insisted on dressing in a short leather dress despite the chilly weather, the way she smiled when there was nothing particularly cheery about their situation, the way she would point out flora and fauna as if admiring their uninteresting characteristics, the way she would sit just close enough to Narvin to make him uncomfortable. But yet Leela was literally all he had on this world and he could not lose her. Narvin hated to admit it, but without Leela, Narvin probably would no longer be alive. And Leela knew it too.

“Isn’t it peaceful out here?” Leela asked as the first sun began to set.

“It’s dirty, cold, and I’ve been bitten by far too many bugs today. I wouldn’t exactly call it peaceful.”

Leela hit Narvin gently on the arm. Well as gently as Leela did anything. “We are in nature. There are no people, no technology, no politics. Just the sky above us, the ground below us, and the plants and animals around us. Tell me Narvin, is it beautiful?”

Only at times like these did Narvin remember that Leela was blind. She could hear the forest, feel the breeze, touch the trees, defend them from attacks, but she couldn’t see if the forest around them was beautiful. Narvin indulged her, “I suppose it is. We’re on a hill where there’s lots of silver and red and you can start to see one of the suns set in the distance.” Narvin wasn’t really sure what else to say.

“You are terrible at seeing beauty,” Leela said and they fell into silence.

It was Leela who first spoke again, “I wish Romana had come with us. It would be good for her to leave the Axis.”

“And it would be good for me to be back on the Axis,” Narvin muttered under his breath, not really meaning for Leela to hear.

But of course Leela heard him. She grinned, “Are you afraid, Narvin? Of the outside? Away from your Citadel?”

“No,” the pitch of Narvin’s voice rose sharply immediately giving away the fact he was lying. He coughed and tried again, “No. I just don’t see the point of wasting my time gallivanting off on some deserted world.” Narvin tried to pull up the guise of confidence the way he used to do when arguing with the High Council but it was clearly defensive and clearly a lie. He was losing his touch.

“So you would rather waste your time moping on the Axis just as Romana is doing?” Leela’s bright, though Narvin loathed to admit it, wonderful smile turned into a smirk. It was barely an argument, but already Leela knew that she had won it. Back home, back on his Gallifrey, Narvin never would have let Leela get the better of him in an argument, she was only a savage bodyguard and he was Coordinator of the CIA. But the Narvin on Gallifrey is not the same Narvin sat with Leela today, he is now without rank, without allies, and without lives. He was hardly better than Leela so he remained silent.

Leela must have sensed Narvin’s discomfort so she leaned in closer and put her arm around his shoulder. If anything this made Narvin more uncomfortable, but he didn’t move. In some ways Leela’s warm skin did provide some comfort if only they didn’t belong to Narvin’s former enemy. “Do not worry, Narvin. I will protect you,” Leela said.

“Aren’t you ever scared?” Narvin asked, the question escaped his lips before it passed his mind.

Leela laughed, “I was afraid when I came to Gallifrey, when Romana asked me to be her bodyguard, when I lost my sight, when I thought I might have to be President on that first Gallifrey we visited. But not here. Every time we step off the Axis, it is an adventure. My only fear now is not being able to explore,” she said.

“You’re not afraid of dying?”

“I fear not living. I have learned from you Time Lords with your many lives that the more you flee from death, the more you flee from life. The only way to live happily is to embrace death, embrace the unknown.” Leela rested her head on Narvin’s shoulder. “You should try that Narvin, maybe you will find your spine and your hearts.”

Narvin mused over Leela’s words, pointedly ignoring the last insult. “You know, Leela, sometimes you’re wiser than people give you credit for.”

“And sometimes you are not as much of an arse as you appear,” Leela said, her head still resting on Narvin’s shoulder.

“Thank you. I think.”

They sat there like that for awhile more until Leela spoke once more, “Now tell me, Narvin. Are the silver leaves sparkling where the sun sets?”

Of course only Leela would ask a question as pointless as that, but Narvin looked anyways. “Yes they are,” he said. Now that Leela pointed it out it was quite beautiful.

“Can you describe where we are in better words this time?”

Narvin sighed and rolled his eyes. But it was hard not to answer Leela so he thought for a moment of something to say, “The sun’s just setting over a lake, and it looks like the lake is full of glittering jewels, like sapphires. But the sky just above is a burning red rising into a soft orange sky towards the east. And from our hill, you can see at least a mile of forest— all silver trees, all glittering in the sunlight while the ones near the lake reflects the sky as if the tree tops are on fire.” Narvin stopped there. He didn’t have a penchant for metaphor or lyrical prose like Leela or Braxiatel.

“Thank you,” Leela said softly. “Perhaps I can still teach you the beauty in life after all.”

Under usual circumstances Narvin would roll his eyes or come up with a snarky quip but it was nice just sitting here, surprisingly. They sat for what had to be another half span without talking and with a quiet snore from Leela, Narvin realized she had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He toyed with the idea of waking her or pushing her off but decided against it. After all, they were just waiting and had time to spare in their mortal lives which seemed to be inexplicably bound together. And Narvin loathed to admit it, but he wasn’t scared with Leela by his side.


End file.
